About Deborah Chelette-Wilson
What makes working with me so valuable?
First, I am an island of safety where people have a unique experience of not only being heard, and felt; they are understood. As one of my clients said, “You have saved my life. You have helped me put the dots of my experience together so they make sense and I feel free.”
I had hoped that when I grew up that humanity would, in general, be at a place where we would be islands of safety for each other. Don’t get me wrong there are many such places but are more uncommon than common.
My island of safety died when I was 11 years old and too far away to go and say goodbye. I’d like to say this was the worst trauma of my childhood but it wasn’t. It was one of many. Actually, until, the age of 27 when I ended a 10 ½ year a difficult marriage, I had experienced multiple traumas. I wondered why and how I had been so functional. Dissociation and denial were two of my best friends and helped me to set aside the experiences of what was happening to me so I could do what I needed to do. It was like I was living in two realities at the same time. One foot in one and the other foot in another.
This served me well until I began to experience life after trauma. At first, I didn’t trust the people in my life who were kind and loving, especially my husband Jerry. He has stuck it out with me for 37 years. We both have learned a lot about the impact of trauma on a relationship and how to grow beyond the hurt, misunderstandings and trauma reactivity.
My path to becoming a Counselor was winding but I made it. As a Licensed Professional Counselor & National Certified Counselor and Life and Parent Coach, I specialize in stress, trauma, attachment, and relationships. I’ve been well trained educationally and experientially. I completed a Bachelors in Liberal Studies and a Masters in Human Relationships from OU at Norman, Oklahoma. I didn’t really set out to do all these things, and there is more, but my clients who range from 2 to 104 trained me in the need for new ways of addressing trauma so people can transform into triumph.
The last fifty years of research on the brain and heart and the power of relationships to hurt or heal has led me to upgrade my knowledge and skill base to help me heal and grow and pass the knowledge on to my clients.
I don’t use any technique or strategy with my clients I haven’t first experienced myself. I have been Certified as a Belief Closet Practitioner and a HeartMath Certified Practitioner. Along with my extensive research on the brain, it has been a powerful combination to integrate and share.
I have written and published 17 books addressing the issues of trauma from many angles. Some are written about the counseling process, others are for children to help them understand what they are going through, others are self-help for women to grow beyond the “bitch” and the “good girl” and a book about my adventures on and in the water bass fishing with my husband. My award-winning novel Sanctuary Found is about Kat who is trying to find freedom from an abusive ex-husband and my recent award-winning book Your Brain and Heart Want to talk to You is about helping adults to understand the children they are trying to help. I also have written a book on poetry and one on how I use art in therapy.
I love to paint and unexpectedly I found someone who knows how to turn my art into jewelry. Rather than making prints My Sassy Jewelry offers necklaces and bracelets of my favorite paintings.
My therapy cat of 8 years, Sampson not only helps clients feel safe he keeps me company while I write and paint. He is a special soulfull cat who picked me to support.
I help children by helping the adults who care for them and freeing the child within across the lifespan.
I can honestly say I love who I am and all that I do. The work though difficult at times is a joy and a sacred privilege.
My development continues as I believe that unresolved trauma keeps us from really connecting to the soul of who we are. Once the trauma is resolved we have more access to the soul. What would life be like if I lived a more soulfull life? I’ll keep you posted on what I find out.